Online dating is nothing new, and while some straight people might hesitate to post their personals on the internet for fear of stigma, almost every lesbian I know has at some point gone online to find lurve or at least sex. It just makes sense; gay-dar has limitations, lesbian nights can feel far and feel between, and meeting a girl organically can feel impossible as a gay woman. Perfect to bicycle through the door. Last week I created a dating profile on each of these sites, and rating apps geared or accepting of lesbians based on three criteria: Like all of these apps, getting starting with OkCupid is quick and simple. Regular members can filter potentials based on a variety of criteria, which allows you to cast your net as wide or narrow as you like. Some of the best include: The biggest free dating app in America, OkCupid combines a wide array of filters, detailed profiles, and arguably the largest density of LGBTQ women to choose from.
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Being out and open about your sexuality can be met with anything from acceptance and love, to hatred, violence, and even prison terms and execution. Every country has different dynamics and social views. In some, we can “put a ring on it” and marry the ones we love.
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Smoking was banned in Mississippi bars a few years ago, but the scent still lingers like a stain that can never quite come out. It’s another night with the same friendly crowd, give or take a few faces. The jukebox plays another Dolly Parton song as a pair of acquaintances is deep into their fifth game of pool. It’s just one of those low-key local bars where you go to enjoy a drink with friends, but the clientele is all gay men. The drama and decadence of the gay nightlife scene are lost on this crowd.
But then I notice the all-too-familiar hums of gossip coming from the corner. Their whispers and stares fail to attain a level of subtlety. It’s a feeling burned into my brain after growing up in the Bible-bound closet of a Southern red state. And although it’s not uncommon for gay guys to judge each other, this time is different. Their gossip is aimed at the interracial couple who just walked through the door. Racism is a hot-button issue that is widely frowned upon, even in the Deep South.
But the social codes in this area still hold a veiled standard of “separate but equal. In high school we were not allowed to print photos of interracial couples in the school paper’s Valentine’s Day issue because the school wanted to avoid controversy.
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